Alright, okay, let's take a deep breath because whew, have I got an update on this whole... life thing. Well, I mean... kind of.
As you may or may not know (most likely you don't) - I had planned for this grand move to Scotland once our son graduated high school (just two years away!). The whole point was to let him finish school with his friends. Which, yes, I know, we don't have to do but given the choice - I'd rather not rip him out of school and slam him into a new one with just 2 years to go.
However... and honestly, this is the big reason, the only reason, the main reason, the driving force behind this decision. My Dad. It's not blaming him by any means, but... he's getting old. Yes, I know, that's what people do. But. He's literally my only family left. My Mom passed away, all of my grandparents are gone and I haven't spoken to a single aunt or uncle in... seven years? And that was when my Mom died. Not a sob story, just reality and I'm completely okay with all of that (except... the deaths ya know, that sucked) but anyway. Point being, my Dad. He'll be 69 this year and he's retiring from an entire career (his entire adult life) of being a trucker. He still lives in Texas and while I don't particularly care for the area he lives in, it's not terrible. Could be better but it could be a whole lot worse, too. It's known for one thing. Ice Cream. And possible known for cows, as well. Other than that? Not much else.
And with him getting old, it really kind of started to weigh on me, ya know? And yes, I know, again, technically, we could move to the UK anyway but that's a shit thing to do and leave my Dad here. Yes, he has his wife but I'm his only child and really, outside his brother (that I don't talk to), I'm his only family as well. (I mean, he has like two cousins but you get the idea). ANYWAY! Point being, the reason we aren't moving to the UK and are instead moving back down to Texas is because of my Dad.
No ill will (maybe a little) but it is what it is and that's life. Maybe one day we'll move across the pond but I doubt it. See, the money we'll have to do this is kind of a once in a lifetime deal. We'll have the money from the sale of our house (which will be a sizable sum but not a fortune) and we'll have whatever we've managed to save (HA) and that's it. But it's not like we're going to get another windfall. And if we ever want to do the farm, now is the time. I mean, time waits for no man and all that shit.
There's also something to be said about my health. I'm not going to make it a focal point of this blog because honestly, I don't like focusing on it too intently because it's downright depressing but, I do have Fibromyalgia and all the fun little shit that goes along with it. And over the past five years or so, it has really upped its game. Yes, I'm on medication for it and yes, I do what I can but it is what it is and yeah. Pain has always been a constant in my life, obviously. The meds keep the pain tolerable but it's not gone. It'll never be gone. If I wake up one day and I'm in no pain, I'd probably have a heart attack and die of shock. But I've always been one to overdo it because! Because! I'm going to hurt whether I do a lot or nothing. It's just a matter of how long I'll have to recover. Either I sit around and am in pain, will be in pain when I go to bed and be in pain when I wake up. Or, I can do something and still be in pain... etc. You get the idea.
That's one of the main reasons for the farm. A healthy diet does help. And I mean, if our current society has proven anything, it's that you can't fucking trust food from the stores. Not anymore. And even a lot of "farm stands" aren't actually locally grown. And yes, I know there are places you can go - farmers markets etc. But even then, you have to trust their word. And we're not vegetarians. Or vegans. I've read the data, I know the science as well as a leigh person can. I'm not claiming to be a doctorate holding scientist and biologist. Point being. I want to be in control of my own food. Start to finish. I want to make damn sure that it's as good as it can be. Good being as healthy as possible. Not poison. I'm not going all "ORGANIC ONLY" because I'm like "dude, it's always been that way for the gardener". Like, I don't ever remember my grandmother spraying anything on her berries. She used fertilizer (shit, she used cow shit...) and that was it. She planted tons of marigolds and other companion plants to deter bugs and that was... fucking it? Like, she didn't worry about spraying whatever or weed killer or anything. It was just hard work. And that's my idea of farming. Or small holding? Homesteading? I don't know what to call it.
But I digress. Point being - our plans have altered but not been obliterated. So, yeah. That's the update. Plans have changed. But the plan is still there. It's just different. Not looking forward to the Texas heat, Texas weather, or the fucked up political climate down there either. But... it is what it is and we'll make the most of it, as we do.
